Handling the Holidays with Intuitive Eating

The holidays can be a source of anxiety for many people, regardless of their relationship with food. Stressful travel, difficult family dynamics, disrupted schedules, and fears about how others might judge our appearance often take center stage. So, how do we navigate these challenges with freedom and grace instead of resorting to restrictions and rules? In this article, we’ll explore the external and internal challenges of the holiday season and how Intuitive Eating can offer the compassion and freedom we all need during this time.

The Chatter of External Challenges

From Halloween to New Year’s, the calendar fills up with work and family events often centered around food. For those struggling with eating disorders, disordered eating, or insecurities about their bodies, these gatherings can present significant challenges. A primary example is the type of conversations and comments that tend to arise, often revolving around food, weight, and appearance.

Aunt Jessie sighs, “I ate way too much,” which makes you question whether you did too. Cousin Dorothy laughs, “I feel so fat—should’ve worn sweatpants,” and suddenly you’re wondering, Am I fat? Why didn’t I wear something looser? Comments like, “You look great—you’ve lost weight,” “You’ve gained weight,” or “I’m trying this new diet” can create a whirlwind of self-doubt and judgment. At times, it can feel like we’re surrounded by voices evaluating whether we’re “doing it right” or “doing it wrong” when it comes to our bodies.

For those already grappling with an eating disorder or a strained relationship with food, the constant messaging of diet culture during the holidays can feel overwhelming. While avoiding these events or conversations entirely may not always be possible, Intuitive Eating offers a way to reclaim freedom and self-compassion amidst the noise.

One of the key principles of Intuitive Eating is to respect your body. This can involve embracing your body’s natural set point (see our article on weight set points) or rejecting the external noise of diet culture. It also encourages focusing on the truths about yourself and your body that matter most.

When conversations about appearance arise, remind yourself of these truths:

• Your appearance is the least interesting and least important thing about you.

• You are perfectly and uniquely made. No one else on earth looks, acts, or feels exactly like you. While we are connected through shared human experiences, we are also wonderfully unique.

These affirmations can help you view comments—whether directed at you or others—as fleeting moments that don’t define your worth or identity.

One of the most empowering ways to respect your body is by setting boundaries. Whenever possible, speak up when someone initiates a conversation about body image or diet culture. You might:

• Change the subject.

• Politely express a preference to discuss something else.

• Physically remove yourself from the space if needed.

Setting these boundaries, though challenging, can create a sense of freedom and foster self-compassion during holiday gatherings.

The Burden of Boundaries: Internal Challenges

Whenever we’re faced with a difficult situation, we typically assess our options with the goal of making good decisions and avoiding bad ones. While this approach makes sense in many areas of life, placing rigid categories around our food and exercise choices can lead to guilt and take us further from the joy that holiday celebrations are meant to bring.

Perhaps you’ve convinced yourself that you need to limit carbs or sugar during the holidays. Maybe you think you should skip an early meal and squeeze in a workout before a family feast. Or perhaps you’re already feeling overwhelmed at the thought that this holiday season might undo all the progress you’ve made. Whatever your internal dialogue sounds like, the truth is that adding rules and rigidity to your day will only increase your anxiety and may lead to overeating or even a binge—the very outcomes you were trying to avoid by “controlling the situation.”

Telling yourself—or being told—that certain foods are off-limits or “bad” often intensifies your craving for those foods. For instance, restricting carbohydrates in the morning because you’re anticipating a carb-heavy holiday meal may result in eating even more carbs later. Counting steps and calories burned during the annual Turkey Trot will only accomplish taking you out of a moment meant for celebration, not evaluation. 

I often hear people say, “What’s wrong with food rules if they help create a healthy balance?” The truth is, balance comes from freedom—not from rigid guardrails. Freedom allows you to honor your cravings and taste buds while also choosing foods that make your body feel good. In contrast, rules and boundaries around food create something to push against, obsess over, and eventually fall victim to once they all crash down upon us in moments of guilt. Freedom means there’s nothing to push against, nothing to be crushed underneath. With the weight of diet culture and food rules removed, you can move throughout your days and your meals listening to what your body is telling you it enjoys and needs (both in food groups and quantities), rather than the voice of that tiny, yet powerful, judge sitting on your shoulder.

Intuitive Eating encourages us to embrace the freedom and grace that support a healthier, more compassionate relationship with food. It reminds us that:

• All foods fit—yes, even gravy and pie.

• One meal or one day of eating will not change your body or overall health.

• Exercise should be about joy and stress relief, not punishment or compensation for a past or future indulgence.

To help you foster intuitive eating this holiday season, I’ve created a free resource: “How to Encourage and Foster Intuitive Eating During the Holidays.”

By focusing on self-compassion and rejecting the pressures of diet culture, Intuitive Eating provides a pathway to navigate the holidays with more ease and grace. Let’s shift our focus from judgment—both external and internal—to celebrating the inherent value in ourselves and others. I hope this approach helps you find the freedom to savor each moment of this holiday season and beyond, free from guilt and self-criticism.

If you’d like to learn more about Intuitive Eating or need support with your relationship with food, please feel free to reach out to me anytime.